The Heartless Enigma

First Down!

Ah yeah, the sounds of Football. The cheering crowd, the pounding of the astro-turf or freshly cut grass, The cheerleaders with their short skirts and *ahem* pom poms...bouncing up and down. There is something in the air, something that cannot be replaced by any other season in the world. What is that something? Well, it's alcohol for one. Not good alcohol, but stinky beer and stadium food. Those autum evenings are just filled with the aroma of Budweiser and pretzel confections. Now, as appealing as that is to some of you, hell, I'd even consider going because it sounds like a great way to waste my time and money on a Sunday. But for some people, they love it even if it's not real. Yep, here I go on another Video Game tangent.

The setting: 11:45 PM Monday, August 8th.
After a very very long day of taking reserves, answering stupid phone calls like..."I reserved my game.....does that mean I can pick it up early?" No, you twit, it means you ....reserved.....your copy that you can pick up on the day it releases. Here is a phone exerpt...

Heartless: "Thank you for calling ***** where you can buy and sell used games...this is Heartless can I help you?"

Idiot: "Yeah dog, I reserved that Madden junk, can I come get it?"

Heartless: "Uh, no....it's not out until tomorrow...you should get a phone call when it comes in letting you know when you can pick it up."

Idiot: "so I should get a call?"

Heartless: "Yep..."

Idiot: "Well, have you gotten to me yet?"

Heartless: "Did you recieve a call?"

Idiot: "uh...no..."

Heartless: "Then we didn't get to you..." *click*

Yeah, Madden, folks! A Freakin football game! You know, Football doesn't change from year to year. It remains the same damn game since a bunch of white dudes started deciding to play "Smear the Queer" but professionally. Give the ball to someone who runs and everyone else tries their damnest to hit them. The harder the merrier. People love this game so much that we opened at midnight for them to come and get it.

12:00 Midnight...Tudesday the 9th
I hear a stampede of feet down the Mall hallways and of course the ignorant and stupid are running! It's like the "running of the *racial slur*. I think we had about 3 white folks in a total of about 145 people that came into the stores, and even they had that corn rows. Now, I ain't making fun of Black folks, hell, I have black friends who laugh that the smucks who ran just to stop and wait in line to get their game. *shakes finger at mob....* "What a silly negro!"

Freakin couch jocks! Get a freakin life, go play in the park or grab a wholesome RPG to play. Use your imagination, something that doesn't involve the gridiron. You didn't make it to the pros, and I don't care if you won state in highschool. I don't even give a shit if you got a full ride scholarship to play Smear the Queer in college. It just proves that they'll give anyone a shot at an education. Your a tool, go catch the freakin frisbe you mutt....and don't forget to wipe your ass across the grass before you come back into the house.
"Kiss the rings bitch, I'm out..."

Posted by Heartless Enigma at August 13, 2005 11:08 AM