The Heartless Enigma

Death, Taxes, and Taxidermy

Part 1: Death.
First off, I'll start by saying, this post isnt exactly a happy one. Last night, I found out that my fiance lost her Grandmother. This wasn't a surprise because of her slowly fading health due to an unknown cancer. I don't whether to be saddened at her loss, or to be relieved that her Grandmother is finally at peace. Ofcourse I am saddened that I could hear the saddness in my dear heart's voice. I wasn't there, I wasn't able to reach out and hold onto her. It's because of my uncomfortablness in being in the company with her mother and family. I never known when I'm welcome. There are moments that I can laugh with them, then things will get drastically silent. Then again, Blaze doesn't feel welcome at her own home either. (Blaze is my fiance by the way, since I'm not about to give you our real names, that will have to do.) It is such a shame that people who are suppose to love you are the very first ones that make you feel like you are the outsider, that your place is not with them. I've never felt that from my family, so I could not fathom how that would feel. My heart goes out to all of you who have felt it in your lives. The problem with Blazes mom is that she's had a ..."hard" life....yeah, I know, we've all had a hard life. You don't see me giving my friends hell and telling them that they don't matter. My father worked on a farm for most of his young life, had it hard and endured through much, yet he doesn't tell me that having me was a mistake. He doesn't say that I am the reason he had to sacrifice doing what he wanted. Yes, Blaze's mom says all of those things on a regular basis. And yes, I am trying to remove Blaze from that situation. I garuntee you, I made a vow that noone would ever hurt her as long as I was in the picture, that inculdes family members, the physical aspect of abuse, and the mental aspect. Mark my words.

Par 2: Taxes
Ugh, not enough time or webspace to go into that.

Part 3: Taxidermy
Ok, I know that in the south, and some midwestern states, to send your fresh kill or trophy to the Taxidermist is a common thing. You proudly display your conquest so that everyone can see. Hey there Jim Bob, take a look at this Buck that I hit with my winchester! Hey Julie, look at this beautiful bobcat I capped to defend my livestock. Greg, have you ever seen a more impressive build on a kangaroo...I hit it with my truck! Hey Enigma, that's my cat Rum Tum Tugger, I stuffed him so that he'll always be in my livingroom! What????? Ok, I know I can be a narrow minded person at times. But I can't imagine sending my pet, to a taxidermist, they'd pose it and freeze dry it so that I could keep it on my mantle. My Pet is not a trophy, not a conquest, and deserves my respect. I don't need a constant reminder that I've lost my friend, that they wont be arround to kock my shit off the table, to cough up hairballs in wierd places, or leave a "Rose bud" on my pillow when they're pissed at me. The spirit that was in my friend is gone, departed rejoined the *living force* or even puppy dog and kitty heaven. Don't ask me how I got stumbled onto this, it just happened...leave it at that. "It's easier to cope with...I can't imagine my pet decaying in the ground, rotting away..." - Quote a taxidermy website that specializes in freezing your animal for eternity. Wow, another satisfied customer! Let me say, the reason your animal isn't rotting on the hearth is because they freeze dry the little critters! They take out the insides and toss them, drain everything from your beloved friend...wow that's so respectful. You've just turned your friend into a statue for your viewing pleasure. How about just bronze em? Then they really aren't going anywhere and if they drop in a pool they sink to the bottom and are water tight! I will always remember my dear friend and pet who comforted me when I was sick and hurt. I will always remember my faithful companion as they ran in the grass, and yes, I will always remember that little shit who left his mark on my pillow. I don't, however wish to turn them into a paper weight or conversation piece. Could you imagine a taxidermist posing me into a tranquil position at my computer for an eternity when I die. My eyes closed and my mouth open in a large laugh as I chatted with my online friends. Hand poised over dramatically over the mouse in anticipation to recieve my latest email or Kaza MP3! It doesn't have great ring does it? Bury your pets true believers....Give them the respect they have so earned.